I have lost exactly 100 pounds. I'm so embarrassed about the first picture, but it's where I've been and I'm proud of how far I've come, so, here's my before and after pictures.

Eric and I had such a wonderful weekend. He had a four day, and it was so nice just staying home and spending the time together. Friday Eric changed the oil in the Jeep, and we just spent the day relaxing together. On Saturday we went to the shooting range and he did the trap shooting thing. It was pretty neat watching him do that, and he loved it. He got to use the new shotgun I bought him for Christmas. Poor guy hadn't had a chance to use it until then, and he's been itching to shoot it. After that we went bowling, I love bowling, but I suck, lol. Sunday we went to the movies and watched "Premonition", it was pretty good. Confusing at times, but overall I thought it was pretty good. After the movie we went and played racquet ball. That is so much fun, although again, I suck. The wall we played on is divided into three parts, we use all three lol. Monday we did the same thing, went to the movies, watched "Wild Hogs", it wasn't the best movie in the whole wide world, but it did provide a few laughs. Then we went and played more racquet ball. I loved this weekend. We just enjoyed each other's company and it was the most amazing time. I love those times when it's just me and him, doing piddly stuff, but enjoying every moment of it. I do believe that is the first time we've spent a four day at our own place with just the two of us. We usually pack up and go to see family when we get a chance, but we're going for Easter, so we thought we'd just hang around. I'm so glad we did. I really hated for it to end though. I went over and had lunch with him yesterday. I also got signed up for graduation. I graduate May 9 with my associates. I have a dentist appt tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to that, I hate the dentist, but it has to be done. Or so they say, lol.

I wish that everyone could have the Grandma's that I've had. They are both so different, yet would do anything for their families. I was fortunate enough that both sets of grandparents lived in the same town, so I seen each of them the same amount while I was growing up. The weird thing about them living in the same town is that my mom was born in Wyoming, my dad in Oklahoma. They both ended up in New Mexico, living in trailers that were end to end. They met when my mom's dog had a seizure (the one and only seizure it ever had) and my mom's mom ran over to ask if my dad's mom could help. My mom made friends with my dad's sister and then eventually started dating my dad. My dad and mom got married (my mom was 16), and them and my dad's family moved to Oklahoma, to find work with the oil rigs. My mom's family eventually ended up in Oklahoma too. Then my dad's parents moved to a little town in Kansas, and eventually my mom's mom and stepdad moved there too. Both sets lived there the rest of the time. My mom's side is still there, and unfortunately my dad's both passed away. Now, if that wasn't fate, I don't know what is.

My dad's mom, Grandma Shirley, was the type of person who didn't care what anybody thought of her. She was herself, no matter who was around. I always admired that in her. She was the type of person that didn't care that she couldn't carry a note, she loved to sing, and sing she did. She also didn't care that she lived in town, with neighbors around her. When she dyed her hair, she sat out on her front porch in her bra with a towel around her neck (seriously, she did that one summer when I was staying with them, I thought I was going to die!). She didn't care that people might think she was weird or crazy, that was who she was, and she didn't try to cover it up. She passed away on March 27 (the day after my brother's 18th bday), 8 years ago, and I miss her so much. She had one of the biggest hearts, and would do anything for anybody. She was a very compassionate person and I'm so thankful that she was in my life, even if for only a short time. I don't have many pictures of her and what I do have is packed away, so you'll have to excuse the repeat of this picture, and the horrible quality.


My mom's mom, Grandma Jean, is the storybook grandma. She's the one that's baking the cookies and she's forever giving all the granddaughters knick-knacks. She makes the best chocolate chip Grandma cookies ever. Whenever she makes them, the family fights over who gets them. She even has to make my brother his own tub (yes, tub) or else the rest of the family doesn't get any, at all. She's so cute, and has an innocence about her. She hilarious and she's so sweet. She got a computer a little over a year ago, and we email each other pretty much on a daily basis. I love communicating with her that way, because I get a laugh just about every time I get an email from her. She knows only the basics, and throughout her emails, she'll realize that she made a mistake, but instead of going back to correct it, she just tells me what mistakes she's made. It's so cute and funny. Here's an example from an email that she sent a couple days ago, "hi michell, i dont think you got my last email. sorrry i didnt get an e put on your name. lol i finally talked to your mom, she was telling me the sad news about sister jimmy. that isto bad. well ill see if this will go through, i hope. love ya gma" Ahh, Grandma, lol. I was so blessed that God put these two, very loving women in my life. I just pray that when the time comes our kids love their Grandma's as much as I've loved mine. Eric and I always tell my mom that she's going to have to be the Grandma Jean Grandma, because we already know that his mom's going to be the slightly crazy one, lol. Here's a picture of Grandma Jean, and then one of my mom and Grandma Jean from when they were here for my surgery.

Thank you ladies for all your support and encouragement. You are all the best, and I'm so grateful to have come across you all. I feel much better. I think I was cooped up for too long in this place. It was beautiful outside and I think I wasn't getting enough sunshine, lol. I really do feel better and I've been thinking alot about what everyone said. I know it will happen for us when it's our time. I also know that we're both healthy, young, and have plenty of time. There is absolutely nothing medically wrong that's keeping us from our dreams, and that is a HUGE relief. It's all in the Lord's timing, and I am thankful that it is in His hands. You know, I absolutely love the weather that we're having. Yesterday was a little chilly, but today is in the 60's and it feels so wonderful outside. I went and had lunch with Eric today, and that was really nice. I also had a wonderful talk with my mom when I got home. She called and we talked for about an hr.

I have to say that a lot of what I was feeling that made me not really want to talk to my family so much for a little while was from the last time we went and visited. I think it really hurt my feelings that my brother and sister didn't really make the time to hang out with and talk with us. I know they're busy and all, but it just irritated me cause we don't get to go down nearly enough. But, I also realized that I have to remember that they're getting their own lives and I went through the same stages as my sister is now when I was her age. My brother is older than I am, but he's never been married and hasn't had a serious relationship (at least not one he's brought to our attention) since he dated the same girl he's dating now in high school. He said that some of the girls he dated wanted to come home and meet us, but he said no, because he didn't think they deserved to meet his family. So, now that he's back with this girl, he spends alot of time with her, of course. So, even though I'm younger than he is, I've already been through the stage that he's going through of always wanting to be with that special someone. So, I get it. I just have to let it roll off me a little easier. I have a problem letting things roll off me sometimes. I think it's a middle child symptom, lol.

While I was talking to mom today, we were saying how wonderful it is that we are able to laugh and joke around with each other as a family. She said she thinks that's an important part of a family staying together. Anyways, she was saying how all three of us kids have such good senses of humor. She was saying how she just loved my laugh and I laugh "with my whole self", lol. I used to get compliments on my laugh at school all the time, and it made me so self conscious. Try laughing when you know that people are listening to the sound of your laugh, lol. Aahh, alright I think I've rambled enough for one day. Sorry about the length of this, I just feel chatty and Eric's still at work, lol.

I've been in a funk lately. I don't know why, I just really don't feel like talking to people. My phone calls to my family have been farther between and when we do talk it's not for very long and I'm struggling to figure out what to say to them. I love my family and I love talking to them and spending time with them, but lately it just feels like I don't have anything to say. I guess it's normal to get into funks now and again though.

Eric and I went on a 5 mile walk yesterday. It was beautiful outside and I really enjoyed the time we spent walking. I got woke up this morning by a phone call from him. He locked his keys in his truck and I had to go on post to bring him the extra set. Oh, what would they do without us? lol

Eric and I want to have kids so bad. It's always been my dream to be a mom. I've always said, I don't know what I want to do, degree wise, but I've always known that I wanted to be a wife and mom. We've actually been trying to have kids from the beginning of our marriage, but have (obviously) been unsuccessful. (I really don't like talking about it, so don't ask me why I'm writing about it now, I think I just need to get it off my chest.) So, while Eric was gone a big motivation for me to lose weight was to try and help it be a little easier for us to have children. Well, I did lose the weight, but still no baby. I know it's all in God's timing and it will happen when He sees fit. We went to the dr the other day and everything's normal for the both of us, but she gave me some pills to try and help us out, and I pray that the Lord gives us a baby. I know He will, I just have to trust in the Lord with all my heart.