I'm frustrated with myself. I feel like I've not been myself for quite some time. I feel like I need answers. I need to open my heart and hear God. Ever since I lost my dad and had Ryan and everything else that's gone on in my life I just feel like I haven't allowed myself the opportunity to be. I have a serious addiction to the scale, I weigh myself approximately 6 times a day (yes, every day). I fear weight gain. I know it's not healthy to be obsessed with it. There's only so much a person can do. I exercise every day, I eat right, I don't drink pop, I usually rarely eat sweets (although that's another thing I'm mad at myself for lately, I've had a never-ending sweet tooth). In total since I began my journey when Eric was deployed I have lost 110 lbs. I have worked so hard to get to this point. I'm happy with where I'm at on the scale. I just know that gaining it back isn't an option. However, if all of that doesn't keep my weight down perpetually weighing myself isn't going to help now is it? So, I'm taking back control of myself, to include my mind. I put up the scale so it doesn't call my name every time I walk into the bathroom. I'm seeking the Lord's help. I believe that with His help I will find the answers I seek. I will find my groove again. I just have to clear my head and regain control of myself. With God ALL things are possible!
Sunday, September 07, 2008
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2 comments:
Hang in there! We all have our moments, in my case our months! but we can get through them. After my Friday melt down and admitting to gaining all my weight back, I took control and started off with an early morning workout. One little step to get going in the right direction. Thats all we can do, one step at a time. We are also here for each other.
V
I hear you...I've been there. When I lost my 50 pounds, I swore I'd never go back to being overweight. I have, however, in the last 5 years since I lost the weight, fluctuated in weight up or down 5 to 10 pounds. This scared me, especially the up part...it's so much easier to put on a few pounds than to take them off...but I finally realized that I had some flexibility. I could eat regular on the weekends and then watch what I ate during the week...and still maintain my weightloss. If I hit a 5-pound gain, I'd get more serious about cutting back. I do still weigh myself several times a week, just to keep an eye on things, but how my jeans fit is the best way to watch my weight...if they start getting tight, it's time to cut back. I am comfortable with where I am. One of my sisters says I'm skinny, but I'd hardly call 141 pounds skinny...but then again, I wear size 6-8 jeans...which I don't ever remember doing before. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that maintaining is possible without making yourself crazy. You just need to find something that you can do without having to think about it too much. One of my favorite sayings is..."All it takes to change your life is purpose, desire, and persistence." It is possible, just believe in yourself..... :)
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