Tuesday, June 27, 2006

My sister, brother and I went to the lake this morning. It wasn't exactly the best idea we've ever had. It was only about 80 degrees when we got there, and the wind was blowing. It was way to cold to swim in. So, we all just went out no more than knee deep and threw a football around. Well, I'm not the most coordinated person in the world. Ok...I'm not coordinated at all. I have a very hard time with my hand/eye coordination. So, we decided that when we could throw the ball back and forth and all of us catch it a total of 10 times we would leave, lol. We were there for a while. I kept messing it up. We got to 9 once, but I dropped the ball. The rest of the time we didn't get past 5. But, I did it, finally!!! Anyways, so it was a bust but we still had a little fun. I think we might go miniature golfing later, but I'm not sure.

I have a hard time wanting to go out and do things like that without Eric. I know I have to live my life even though he's gone, but doing things like that doesn't seem right without him by my side. He even told me this morning when we talked to go and have fun, but in a way I guess I feel guilty because he can't go with me. I want him to be here to be able to do the things that we always do together. I miss that like crazy. I have been staying up really late, because I loath going to bed alone. I despise having to climb into our bed all by myself. I know it's just a matter of time before he's home with me again, but that's not too comforting when it's bed time (or anytime actually).

My grandpa is coming down on Friday to spend the weekend down here while his wife (Evelyn) goes to visit her family. Evelyn sent my parents a list of the medications that he's on right now. He's on 7 different prescription medications. My mom looked them all up and found that almost every single one of them can cause the symptoms that he's having, that they consider to be part of his Alzheimer's. In fact, they have him on two different medications for Alzheimer's. One is for mild to moderate and the other is moderate to severe. Why would they put him on both kinds? It doesn't make sense. My dad is going to take the list to his doctor tomorrow to see what he has to say about it. I'm praying that he will be able to tell us if those medications are not mixing right or something. If nothing else, maybe he will be able to do a complete physical and tell us for sure if he does have it, that way it will put everyone's worries to rest.

I'm going up this weekend to find a place to live. I've decided that I just need to go up there and spend a day looking. There's nothing I can really do from here, so I have to go. I know I can do it, but it's always been Eric's thing to do this kind of stuff for us. Oh well, at least me finding a place will mean that it's getting closer to him being home. If nothing else, I can focus on that point. I've also decided that if all else fails and I can't find a place that has a washer/dryer and allows pets, I'm just going to go back to where we were living before. At least I know that it's a good neighborhood and I liked living there, but hopefully it won't come to that. I want to have my cat back with me, I've missed having him around.

4 comments:

Monica said...

I go through the same feelings while trying to do things we enjoyed doing together. Good luck finding a place to live! Smile... one day at a time.

Courtney said...

I hope you find out some good info with your grandpa!

I have the same feelings I feel so guilty having fun & feel in the end the funs not really worth it. Matt too has been telling me to get out more & time will pass sooner. I think you getting a place is a great idea! You'll feel better & getting your place all ready will pass time too:) By the time you get all situated he'll be almost home! GOOD LUCK!

Michelle said...

So sorry you are having a hard time right now. I kinda understand how you feel, Ray is always out in the field and I try to keep myself busy while he is gone but it is not the same I miss him when he is not there to share it with me.

Take one day at a time and try to enjoy your family! Good luck on the house hunting.

Debra K said...

My 7 month old son and i are living with my parents as my husband is deployed also. Having my family so close can be so helpful sometimes yet so challenging other times.